Top 40 single reviews
Published on April 2, 2006 By Dusk411 In Music

Stupid Girls
Album: I'm Not Dead
Year: 2006

Pink criticizes her fame-seeking peers in the self-important "Stupid Girls."

Testy guitars and an out of place DJ open the single, setting a disapproving tone. In the chorus, she says the her peers are dumb and shallow. She will not date her co-stars to get into the tabloids.

"Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls/Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back/What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl."

In the first verse, she says they hang out on Melrose to be photographed buying expensive clothing. They bring attention to themselves by bursting out laughing. They continue until all the normal people have taken out their camera phones and whispering to each other. She notes they mention their wealthy parents at every opportunity, especially to get free stuff. Pink wonders why strong, intelligent women aren't held up to be role models anymore. She says now little girls aspire to be video ho's in the latest rap videos. Her peers are never alone. Usually, they are with a couple of their celebrity friends. They carry their fashionable accessories (pets) in expensive handbags and wear tight message t-shirts. Pink wants to see smart celebrities being rewarded.

"Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there/Laughing loud so all the little people stare/Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne (drop a name)/What happened to the dreams of a girl president/She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent/They travel in packs of two or three/With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees/Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?/Oh where, oh where could they be?"

In the second chorus, she says that if she tosses her long blond hair and show her breasts, perhaps she would be famous, too. But they can have their 15 minutes.

"Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back/What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl/Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back/Push up my bra like that, I don''t wanna be a stupid girl."

In the second verse, a record scratches and the DJ tells Pink to express her thoughts. She says that the American culture has become obsessed with the minuitae of celebrities daily lives. She thinks it's going to be the standard, not the exception in order to survive in Hollywood. She says people (regular and famous alike) are buying into it. Pink would like to be in charge of the magazines and television networks to get rid of the useless pop culture news. On those shows, she would replace the content with intelligent opinions and international news stories. Looking back, she's pleased she never sexualized her image.

"(Break it down now)/Disease's growing, it's epidemic/I'm scared that there ain't a cure/The world believes it and I'm going crazy/I cannot take any more/I'm so glad that I'll never fit in/That will never be me/Outcasts and girls with ambition/That's what I wanna see/Disasters all around/World despaired/Their only concern/Will they fuck up my hair."

The second chorus is sung again.

It segues into a spoken interlude. As the chorus plays in the background, a conversation is overhead between two shallow, teen celebrities. Lindsay Notlohan exclaims that she ate, like, two apples and a candy bar today. Paris Nothilton comments that it wasn't cool. Notlohan asks Nothilton if she could use her slang once in an interview and be popular by association. Then, Notlohan throws up. Post-gag, she declares that she will be thinner than any women in history!

"Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories/That was so not sexy, no/Good one, can I borrow that?/I will be skinny!"

In the bridge, the DJ supports Pink's point of view and says she should continue to be herself. A seething Pink snubs them and says she's a real woman.

"Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing/I like this, like this, like this/Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly as a lucky girl/Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!/Pretty would you fuck me girl, silly as a lucky girl/Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!"


The chorus is sung twice to end the single.

Pink's rant about female teen celebrities has more holes in it than Michigan roads. First, the scantily clad women in videos issue. She's been almost naked twice. In the 2001 "Lady Marmalade" video she wore fishnet stockings and lingerie. Again, in 2003, her breasts were the star of "Trouble." Next, she snipes at her peers for living their lives out in front of the camera. After her third album's failure in 2003, she was spotted kissing Kristanna Loken, dated Tommy Lee, and talked about her relationship with Carey Hart.

She also fails to mention that she benefits from the entertainment shows and magazines. If they didn't cover her new song or details of her life, no one would know about her. For example, to promote her album, she divulging that she took heroin. Otherwise, no one would know that she's coming out with a new record.

Pink's holier-than-thou vocals chomp on the bone. She feels she's above the standards of her peers because her image is slightly different. However, she's become mostly known for slamming them. Among her prey: Christina Aguilera (for kissing Madonna) and Britney (for having a child). She has made fun of Jessica Simpson, Aguilera, and Spears during a performance of "Most Girls" on the American Music Awards.

The labored guitar arrangement sputters along. By the spoken interlude, it has stalled. Garish and slovenly, the hammy scream of "I will be skinny!" elicits cringes, not giggles. It invites listener commentary to finish the sentence. For instance, I chose "And look like a wire hanger!" It reminded me of "Mommy Dearest" and the particular line. At that point, it stops being an obvious parody and becomes unintentional camp.

The hypocritical "Stupid Girls" is a desperate plea for attention.


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