Top 40 single reviews

Avril Lavigne

The Best Damn Thing

Album: The Best Damn Thing

Year: 2008


         Avril Lavigne complains about guys in the chuffed “The Best Damn Thing.”


        A dippy guitar accompanies Lavigne as she cheers “Let me hear you say hey hey hey/
Alright/Now let me hear you say hey hey ho,” setting an obnoxious tone.


             She has to nag guys in order for them to act like a gentlemen towards her. She expects guys to pay on every single date. In her opinion, it’s the guy’s duty to foot the bill Going dutch is such a plebian thing to do. (“I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door/Even though I told him yesterday and the day before/I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab/And I have to pull my money out and that looks bad.”)


             In the pre-chorus, she wonders why men don’t get it. She grew up expecting men to wait on her hand and foot from Disney movies. (“Where are the hopes, where are the dreams/My Cinderella story scene/When do you think they'll finally see.”)


            In the chorus, she tells her ex-boyfriend he may have found similar to her but he’s still going to going to want her. She requires a lot of attention and will be the center of whatever’s going on. However, she considers it part of her charm. His life is going to be boring without her in it. (‘That you're not not not gonna get any better/You won't won't won't you won't get rid of me never/Like it or not, even though she's a lot like me/We're not the same/And yeah yeah yeah I'm a lot to handle/You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal/Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen/I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen.”)

         She chants “alright, alright, yeah’s” in between the chorus and the next verse.


        When she’s on her period, she doesn’t want to be around anyone, including she’s dating. Too many guys have cheated on her with their exes. She expects to go everywhere with her boyfriend. (“I hate it when a guy doesn't understand/Why a certain time of month I don't wanna hold his hand/I hate it when they go out, and we stay in/And they come home smelling like their ex girlfriends.”)

        In the pre-chorus, she believes she’s right. One day she is going to show up with a hot investment banker on her arm and everyone is going to be jealous. (“I found my hopes, I found my dreams/My Cinderella story scene/Now everybody's gonna see.”)

             The chorus is sung again.


             In the bridge, she makes a personalized cheer using her name. In it, she demands to get her way all the time and the guy to dote on her. If he doesn’t act the way he should, she’ll argue with him until she does. Then, she wants her point of view validated by everyone else. (“Give me an A (always give me what I want)/Give me a V (be very very good to me)/R (are you gonna treat me right)/I (I can put up a fight)/Give me an L (let me hear you scream loud)/One, two, three, four.”)



          The first pre-chorus and chorus are sung again.

          The “let me hear you say hey hey hey” is repeated again.


          At the end, she claims she’s the hottest, classiest girl and a guy should thank his lucky stars she even gave him a second glance. (“I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen.”)


       Lavigne’s insolent, spoiled vocals are green on the edges, eliciting a pungent odor which will take days to clean out. Her privileged, 1950s view on dating is out of touch with reality. The only guys she are going to find are the brownnosing hanger-ons out for the money.

  The narcisstic “Best Damn Thing” loves to take but won’t put forth any effort.

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