That Don't Impress Me Much
Album: Come On Over
Shania Twain is indifferent to a showboating guy in the rakish "That Don't Impress Me Much."
Gaudy synthesizers open the single, setting a droll tone. Twain flirts that she's dated a couple guys who were pretentious. They would spout about Jung and Jong. However, he just seems to know everything. If she says she doesn't know, he will give her a long-winded, verbal essay about it. Although his facts are wrong and cites questionable sources, he still claims to right. It annoys her to no end.
"I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart/But you've got being right down to an art/You think you're a genius-you drive me up the wall/You're a regular original, a know-it-all."
In the pre-chorus, she teases him for acting like he's better than her.
"Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special/Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else."
In the chorus, she says he could be the most intelligent guy in the world and she still would be unfazed by it. He's smart, yeah, but is he emotional and affectionate, too?
"Okay, so you're a rocket scientist/That don't impress me much/So you got the brain but have you got the touch/Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright/But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night/That don't impress me much."
The guy's a metrosexual. He's concerned about his looks and wants his hair to be perfect. She laughs at his vanity.
"I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket/And a comb up his sleeve-just in case/And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it/'Cause heaven forbid it should fall outta place."
The pre-chorus is said again.
In the chorus, she says it doesn't matter if he has movie star good looks, if he can't arouse her it means nothing.
"Okay, so you're Brad Pitt/That don't impress me much/So you got the looks but have you got the touch/Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright/But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night/That don't impress me much."
In the bridge, Twain has his type figured out: he obsesses over his sports car and is a neat freak about it. He won't let her wear her shoes in his custom car. He also treats it as lovingly as he would a girlfriend.
"You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine/You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in/I can't believe you kiss your car good night/C'mon baby tell me-you must be jokin', right!"
The pre-chorus is said again.
In the chorus, she says that he has fancy possessions but materialism does not awe her.
"Okay, so you've got a car/That don't impress me much/So you got the moves but have you got the touch/Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright/But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night."
In the second chorus, she adds that he's desirable but it takes more than a charming personality.
"That don't impress me much/You think you're cool but have you got the touch/Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright/But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night/That don't impress me much."
Twain writes him off as eye candy at the end.
"Okay, so what do you think you're Elvis or something/That don't impress me much/Oh no!/That don't impress me much/Oh no!/Yeah!/All right, all right/You're Tarzan.Captain Kirk, maybe? John Wayne?/Whatever/That don't impress me."
Don't take Twain's aloofness seriously. She's pining for the guy. She's playfully nudging him to offer her something of substance. Twain is at her peak in "That Don't Impress Me Much." She's fun and cool without it being forced. The Hindi inspired synthesizers are energized. It's a lively single.
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